He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
