Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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