i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
