Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
