I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
