His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
