That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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