If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
