you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
