I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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