so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize