She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
