OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize