Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
