so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
