How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
