Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
