You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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