3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
