so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
