it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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