Fuck appropriateness.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
