Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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