oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
And then he peed in my hair
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