At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
