i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
