Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
