Kiss
Puke
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
