Cold hands, warm shart.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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