He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
