At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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