So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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