Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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