he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
