Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize