Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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