why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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