check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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