Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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