if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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