it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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