I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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