i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
