Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize