i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
