So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
