did you get engaged???
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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