You just made me feel so damn special
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
