Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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