i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
