I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
