is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
