yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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