She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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