By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
