great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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