last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
